I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
