Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
