Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
