Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
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