She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize