i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize
