you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
