i barfeds in our rink
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
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