No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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