Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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