Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize