and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
