Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize