I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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