i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You're a waste of cheezeits
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
