"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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