If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
