Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
