i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
