i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
