and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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