I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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