i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
