Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
