that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
