I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
