do herpes really smell.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
