Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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