nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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