ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize