"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize