Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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