I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize