could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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