Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
