in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i was born a porn star she said
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize