just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
