She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
