I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
The struggles of a small town man whore
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
