LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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