Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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