So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
