Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
