Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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