I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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