So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
