some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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