just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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