I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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