The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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