ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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