Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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