another moral hangover. fuck.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
