I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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