I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
