I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
