can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
