What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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