I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
My friends, they love my intelligence
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
