I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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