look no pants
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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