you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
